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(no subject) [Sep. 2nd, 2004|07:41 pm]
ok im drunk. and upset. nad i just want to talk.
and theres a gun upstairs and im thinking about getting it.


All of this is all your fault. thats what i stand and tell myself when i just stood and looked in the mirror. and wanna know what i see ? FUCKING NOTHING !
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(no subject) [Sep. 2nd, 2004|07:28 pm]
ok. here's the plan sluts.
i'm sneaking out at about 10:30 since my parents are out tonight, to go to ryans house and have a movie night. will we end up really watching movies ? am i drunk already ? yes !!!!!! triple sec is a girls best friend. so wish me luck that i don't get caught like the fucking loser i am.

SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX and cigaretttes. whats beter than that. arent you all jealous ?
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(no subject) [Sep. 2nd, 2004|03:55 pm]
all i wanna do is go get fucked up so i can forget about all this.
i need a night of fun > anyone care to assist me ? let me know.
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(no subject) [Aug. 30th, 2004|05:49 pm]
i'm running from myself. far far away.

.broken hearts want broken necks.
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well, i'd give my life for you. . . . and tonight i just might [Aug. 29th, 2004|01:24 pm]
why do i love you more than i love myself ?

i figurd it out. it's not that i don't love you. it's that i can barely stand the sight of myself. i wish i was loved. i wish i was pretty. i wish i was secure.

how many times am i going to have overdose before i kill myself ?
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watch me cut myself wide open [Aug. 29th, 2004|08:29 am]
. . . all for you. everything i used to fucking do was for you.i acted happy for you. i cryed over you, i watched myself bleed all because of you.

I FUCKING DIED BECAUSE OF YOU. . . don't ever expect to come back into my life. i will literally fucking shoot you in the head. so just some advice .watch. .your. .back.
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(no subject) [Aug. 28th, 2004|09:19 am]
.fuck. .fuck. .fuck. .fuck. .fuck.

i messed up again. someone remind me how much coricidin sucks. and my boyfriend tweaked. again. we're both fucking falling apart again. what am i supposed to do ?
all i want is to be happy. and i love him. i think.
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(no subject) [Aug. 21st, 2004|11:22 am]
Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:Nerd
Your Favorite Band/SongLe Tigre - Deceptacon
You Like To Read:Teeny-Bopper magazines
You Firmly Believe In:Free love
Everyone Thinks You Are:OMG WAY HOTT LOLZ
You Were Conceived:In a cheap motel
You Will Marry:Fidel Castro
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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(no subject) [Aug. 21st, 2004|08:11 am]
"don't beat yourself up about it." you say
i don't think you understand.
maybe if i fuckin cut myself wide open in front of you and you saw me cry, you could see everything i've been hiding.

all the meanings been lost in a city of lights and sex.
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(no subject) [Aug. 20th, 2004|12:20 pm]
.im. .afraid. .to. .fall. .asleep.

my head hits the pillow and the bottle falls. they're gone. all of them. and im falling so fast. falling so far. and i hear those phrases i never want to hear. ever again.

and i don't deserve to breathe he says. so the air is filled. at last i realize that this is what deserves to happen to me. so i take a deep breath just to assure i'll never go through this all again.

this time i think i lost.
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